


Returning Home [to you]

by mo0nstone



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: ABO, AU University Setting, Alpha Kylo Ren, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Crime, F/M, Fantasizing, Graduate School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's reylo guys, Just after some plot, Knotting, Kylo is getting a PhD, Lots of Angst, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Minor Kylo Ren/Paige, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Research, Slow Burn, Smut, Snoke is a dick, Tags are going to change probably as I write, and some angst, applications, lots of smut, snowshoeing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-09-30 04:46:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17217239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mo0nstone/pseuds/mo0nstone
Summary: Rey and Poe are driving back from a day snowshoeing in the mountains when they run out of windshield wiper fluid. They stop in a small mountain town where Rey must confront her past, and decide what she really wants in her future.Reylo ABO in a university settingThanks for reading!! :)





	1. Reverie

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all this is my first fic, so please excuse everything. This is an Alpha/Beta/Omega fic, so for those of you who might be unfamiliar with it, I recommend looking it up before you read, as there will be a bit, but not a lot of explanation throughout. 
> 
> I'll update tags and chapter count at some point, but have fun & happy new year everyone :)

I sighed, staring out the window at the scene rushing by, allowing the sights to soak into my eyes. The evergreens are by far my favorite part of the landscape. You never had to worry about them not being green, even in the dead of winter. 

“I’m so sorry, Rey. I know you wanted to get home before dark, but I’ve run out of windshield wiper fluid, and you know it’s dangerous to drive without it with these road conditions.” Poe spoke softly, probably not wanting to disturb my reverie.

“That’s alright. We can take the next exit and we can get a coffee or something to warm up. I really just wanted to get back to work on my applications, but I still have a few more days before the deadline, so it’ll be fine.” I gave Poe a quick smile, hoping to assuage his guilt. “I really appreciate you taking me out here today. Snowshoeing in the park just isn’t quite as fun as coming out and doing it for real.”

Poe gave me a toothy grin and responded, “Yeah, it was my pleasure.” With a wink, he then said, “I’m sure there are tons of things I could show you out here.”  
I rolled my eyes, and he turned his attention back to the road ahead, a half smirk playing across his features. We had spent the day snowshoeing, laboriously trekking through the fresh snow that had fallen over the mountainous valley the previous day. I love the forest, being in the mountains, and feeling my legs and body work. It’s hard to get out to the mountains without a car of my own, so I’d really take any chance to go. Poe was always up for things I suggested, snowshoeing being no exception, even if it was a little too dull for his tastes. I know he’d rather spend his Saturday doing something that would get his adrenaline going. He is alpha all the way. Snowboarding and skiing are not for me, though. Speeding down a hill doesn’t give me enough time to enjoy the smell of the forest, the soft crunch of snow beneath my feet, and the way the sunlight sparkles on fresh snow. 

My muscles were tired now, sated, albeit somewhat cold. In the winter, I seem to be always underdressed for the weather. With the seat heater set to maximum, I was still cold, so a warm cup of coffee seemed especially enticing. We pulled into the next exit, Poe slowing the car down as we entered a little mountain town. As we turned onto the main street, a flare of recognition ignited in the pit of my stomach. 

Poe pulled into the closest gas station and hopped out of the car to buy fluid. As I sat in the car, I tried to place the sense of familiarity I felt. The sun was beginning to set behind the mountains, casting beautiful orange and pink hues across the sky. 

“Want to go grab a coffee from a café? I’m sure there’s one on the main street somewhere,” Poe inquired as he opened the door to the car once again. 

“Yeah, let’s go find a place. I think I’ve been here before, but I can’t place it,” I replied, hopping out of the car and pulling on my mittens. 

“How is that even possible? I thought you just moved from Texas a little while ago?” 

“I lived there for 10 years, but before that, I travelled a lot with my, uh… grandfather.” Describing Obi as my grandfather was simpler than the truth. My parents had died when I was young, leaving me with vague memories and a few belongings. Child services had looked for any sort of relative to take me in, and they found Kenobi. I think he was a distant great uncle, twice removed, or something like that. I called him Obi for short. He cared for me like a daughter in the time before his death. His research was world-renowned, so he was constantly invited to speak and present at conferences. It seemed like we had been almost everywhere together, staying in a place for a week or two maximum, until he had his heart attack in Texas. 

I shuddered at the memories of that difficult time, forcing my attention back to the small-town street Poe and I were walking down. Poe reached out with a gloved hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. The warmth of his hand was nice, but I slipped my hand from his grasp and shoved it into my pocket. I looked up at the side of his face, briefly, watching his eyes tighten slightly at my rebuff. I took in his chiseled cheekbones, focused but soft brown eyes, and a five o’clock shadow gracing his cheek and jaw. He was quite attractive, and I felt comfortable with him. I wouldn’t call what we were doing dating, although Poe certainly wanted to. We had been out a handful of times, and while I had fun, I just wasn’t feeling anything special. Maybe it’s because I’m a beta, or maybe it’s because I’ve spent too much time watching rom-coms and reading romance novels. My expectations are just too high, I suppose. There aren’t many omegas nowadays anyway, so it’s really all just fantasy. 

“This place looks good. Let’s go in and get warmed up.” Poe gestured at a small café across the street. It seemed pretty busy from what I could see. We crossed the street, and entered the door, causing a bell to chime, welcoming us into the cozy and warm space. 

Poe approached the counter and ordered a hot chocolate for himself and a mocha for me. While Poe waited on the drinks, I found one of the few remaining seats: a sofa in between the fireplace and the door. Poe brought our drinks over and sunk into the couch next to me. The mocha was sweet and rich. We sat and sipped our drinks, luxuriating in the warmth. Around us, the coffee shop hummed with soft activity. A handful of people sat working on laptops, and a few couples were lost in conversation. Poe put his arm around me, and I shifted, uncomfortable with the sudden invasion of my space.

“So Rey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Would you like to –“

At that moment, the bell above the door chimed, and in entered an older couple, laughing vigorously and rather loudly. 

“Steve! My man! Brew up some fresh coffee for us, and can you bag up four of the bagels we like?” the older gentleman shouted across to the barista.  
“Han, are you and the Mrs. going to have a late night?” Steve the barista quipped with a broad smile.

Chuckling, the woman said, “Oh no, our son is going to be arriving soon, and he is bringing his girlfriend for us to meet for the first time! We’re grabbing his favorite bagels for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Wow, well that’s exciting. You want the Sumatra dark roast, right, Leia?” Steve replied, turning to scoop out some beans.

Fingers grasped my chin; Poe turned my chin to face him, pulling me out of the scene playing out at the till. His eyes were dark, and serious. “Rey, I love spending time with you, but I want more. I want you. I want to be with you.” 

“I think I know those people,” I said, turning again to look at the older couple. 

“Rey, did you hear what I just said? I said I want to be with you.”

I searched for words, but none came. My mouth went dry and I shifted nervously, averting my eyes to my hands, which were suddenly very fascinating. 

“Poe, I uh, like you – “

In a stunning calamity, another patron opened the door at the same time as the elderly couple was heading out. The parties collided, and a coffee explosion ensued. A full cup was overturned into Poe’s lap, and he jumped up, swearing loudly. 

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, dear. Let me get you some napkins,” the elderly woman exclaimed, alarm and concern apparent in her face. She rushed off to the counter and grabbed the entire napkin dispenser. As she returned, she handed the box of napkins to Poe, and directed her husband to get more coffee. 

Moments later, Poe was mopping up coffee from his pants, and the older couple was continuing to apologize to Poe. 

“Oh no, it’s alright. I’m sure it’ll come out.” Poe smiled kindly, good natured as always.

The older couple turned their attention to me, and memories flooded back: Leia pulling freshly baked cookies out of the oven, Han showing me how to set up a circuit with a battery and a lightbulb, playing with... 

Han peered at me through his glasses. “Oh my god, it’s you! Rey! We thought you were in Texas. What are you doing here?”

Poe looked at me, seeking clarification. 

“I moved back to the city last year. Poe and I were out here snowshoeing today, and we just stopped in to warm up. I had no idea you guys would still be living here.” To Poe, I said, “This is Han and Leia, I stayed with them for a few summers when I was a kid.”

“Yes, you were 5 or 6, I think. You played with our son, Ben. He must have been 8 or 9 then.” Leia beamed at the memory. “Hey, Ben is coming into town today. You should come for dinner. Poe, I can lend you some of Han’s pants and give yours a wash before you head back into town.”

Poe accepted their invitation, “Yeah, that would be really nice. Right, Rey? After, we can drive back into the city.”

“Sure, that could be nice.” 

“Well why don’t you both follow us in your car up to our place, and we can set two more places at the table?” Leia smiled.

With that, Poe and I were off to Leia and Han’s house, the sky above darkening quickly now as the sun sunk behind the mountains.

The Solo-Organa house was, in a word, opulent. Rey took in the surroundings, noting the massive high-ceilinged foyer, the ultra-modern kitchen, the quartz countertops… it was a bit much. Dinner was casual, despite the luxury surrounding us. Leia set up a few placemats at the breakfast bar adjacent to the kitchen, and we tucked into a casual meal. 

“We were so sorry to hear about Kenobi, Rey. We tried so hard to look you up after, but we weren’t given any contact information for your foster family in Texas. They never found Kenobi’s will, so we couldn’t do anything to get you back here. I’m just so glad to see you now,” Leia explained, patting my hand. “Ben won’t be by until later, but I’m sure he’d love to see you, too. Will you stay until he comes by? He’s bringing his girlfriend. They’ll be here in an hour.”

I looked to Poe, who nodded. “Sure, we can stay.”

Over the course of dinner, we talked about what I had been up to in the year since moving back to town, including my plans to attend graduate school. It was nice to catch up with them, but it felt strange trying to fit myself back into their world. Leia gave Poe a spare pair of pants, and put his in the wash, and we settled into one of the living rooms after dinner. It was not long before we heard the front door open, and Ben was walking in, a petite girl following him. Leia and Han leapt to their feet, going to meet them.

“Ben! Oh I’m so glad you’re here. And you must be Paige. It’s so lovely to meet you,” Leia exclaimed, moving to embrace Ben and Paige. “Look who we ran into in town! You remember Rey? And this is her, uh, friend? Poe.” 

Ben turned to me, surprise registering as he saw me. I was shocked at how handsome he was. Dark and luminous hair fell to his shoulders, which were broad, complimenting his tall stature. His eyes were dark brown, and I felt as if I was falling into them as they bored into mine. 

He broke eye contact, and I watched his eyes comb over me. I felt suddenly hot, flushing from head to toe. I noticed Poe and Leia looking at me curiously, and then I stood to meet Ben. Oh, and his girlfriend.


	2. Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, Kylo's POV. Thanks for Kudos!! :)

It was 1999. We were in the basement, the dress-up trunk out, clothes hanging over the edge and strewn across the carpeted floor. All the neighborhood kids had gathered there, with Jessica and Kaydel at the helm of the ceremony. Dressed up in the trunk’s finest. I stood next to Jessica and waited. Anticipation in the room was palpable. Kaydel signalled some other kid to hit play on the boombox, and the wedding march blared out from the tape. And from around the corner, she came, holding the collar of Chewie the dog, stepping in time to the march. Her cheeks were so red; she was blushing so hard. My cheeks were on fire too, but as I looked in her eyes, I knew this was what was meant to be. 

The ceremony was short. We didn’t know the words to the vows, so it was basically, “We are gathered here today to blah blah blah… you may now kiss the bride.” A hush fell over the congregation as she and I looked at one another. Soft brown hair, freckled nose, hazel eyes. I leaned in, and she leaned in. For the briefest moment, our lips met, and I felt an electric shock move through my whole body. And then a chorus of giggles and “ew” broke out, and the ceremony was complete. Rey and I were married.

I woke up with a start. Fuck. I hadn’t thought about that memory in a long time, but I guess being back in my parents’ place brought it back. And seeing her. She had the same freckles, the same hair, and the same eyes. Those eyes - I thought I might never escape. I didn’t want to.  
The soft breathing of Paige brought me out of my dream. This is real life, not a childhood fantasy. Paige and I had been together for 6 months now. She was a graduate student in my lab, and we hit it off. She was a beta, but that suited me fine. I didn’t have ruts anymore. I don’t have time for that now. All my time is spent in the lab, anyway. Paige is constantly telling me to take time off, to come home earlier, but I know nothing will get done without me. Or, nothing will get done exactly right. 

I got out of bed quietly and went about doing my daily calisthenics. I didn’t feel quite right without them, usually. Even after I finished, I still found my thoughts drifting more than usual. 

Rey was working at the same university. It wasn’t the same campus, but still. She was so close for so long, and I had no clue. Her sudden reappearance into my world was startling, and even more so because of the effect she had on me. My whole body urged me to gather her close and never let go. I wanted to bury my nose in her hair, press my lips against her skin – press my skin against hers… and wow I have got to get a hold on myself. It’s just nostalgia, and a re-emergence of my childhood crush. Simple infatuation, cured by staying away and forgetting. At the thought of forgetting her, though, my mind rebelled. 

“Kylo? Come back to bed, it’s still so early,” Paige crooned from underneath a mound of duvet and blankets. 

“I’m going on a run. I’ll be back soon. You should get some more sleep.” A run would clear my head. Fresh mountain air would help clear away this preoccupation.  
I pulled on my running gear and slipped out the back door. The sun was just peeking up over the horizon and the chill of night still hung heavy in the air. As I brought myself up to pace, I adjusted my breath to the beat of my foot steps: one inhale for every three steps and one exhale for every three steps. I ran until my lungs began to burn, and then I kept going.

My parents had moved about five years ago, upgrading to their current house, and leaving my childhood home behind. This neighborhood was much nicer, but it was lacking the charm I sorely missed. The charm that had been brought right back to the forefront of my mind by her. Rey. She had been wearing leggings that hugged her legs and hips, paired with a purple sweater. It was just the right colour against her sun kissed skin. She spoke with a slight southern accent now. Her vowels were elongated, and her consonants were softened. It sounded good on her. What would she sound like when she came? I brought my attention back to my breath, feeling the cool air in my nose, finding the beat of my footsteps again. 

I had a day with my parents and Paige to look forward to. They had been bugging me about meeting my girlfriend for months, and I finally caved. A trip to see them meant appeasing them for a few months, but also missing out on valuable lab-time. I had scheduled it with Hux so that he would be at the lab all day today monitoring the experiments, but Hux was unreliable at best. I would probably have to start the experiment over next week. I huffed in frustration, and once again brought my attention back to the rhythm of my feet pounding on the pavement. 

How would Rey take to graduate school? I should put in a good word with my contacts in the faculty she’s applying for. If she’s a fraction as tenacious as she was when we were young, she’ll do just fine. A memory surfaced of wrestling with Rey. I was teaching her how to do a half nelson, and rather than being put into the hold, she straight up punched me in the gut. I smiled at the thought. Yeah, she’ll do great. 

I finished my run, dreading the day ahead, but eagerly anticipating my favorite bagel.


	3. Daydream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's POV again. Let me know what ya think! :)

Monday always comes too soon. It’s not like I don’t have any days of the week where I’m not working now anyway, but Monday is always the worst. BB was crouched on my chest as always in the morning. Her soft mews bringing me out of the dream world and solidly into the real world. 

“Oh yes, I know you want your breakfast. Give me a minute.” BB mewled in response. 

As I opened a new can of food for BB, my thoughts drifted to Saturday. Seeing Leia and Han had been nice. It felt like I found a piece of Obi again, tucked away in a tiny mountain town. Leia had even promised to bring me some of my favorite cookies the next time she came into the city. I smiled as I gave BB her food, remembering how the shortbread cookies used to crumble and get stuck in my unruly hair. That was before I knew how to really do it for myself. Now, I stick with what works, namely buns. 

I sat down at my table for breakfast, which today was a very simple bowl of cereal and almond milk. It’s really all I can afford right now, what with saving for graduate school and paying rent in an expensive city. Anything’s better than Texas, though. I stare out the window and look at the snow that has continued to fall overnight. The roads won’t be good, and the busses might be late. I should get going early so I can make it in time. 

As I brush my teeth, I’m reminded of Ben, specifically 9-year-old Ben, fighting with me for the sink as we brush our teeth. He was so pushy, always wanting to get his way, and pouting when he didn’t. As I leaned over the sink, blocking his access, he spit out his toothpaste onto the back of my neck. I’m not entirely sure whether it was intentional. He swore it was an accident, as he used his fingers to wipe away the toothpaste from the back of my neck. I remember my body shivering as he had run his hands over a particular spot on my neck. When he had given me a hug on Saturday, I felt his hands on my back, his fingertips gripping the fabric of my sweater. His hands were big, the length of one nearly spanning the width of my entire waist. I felt the echo of his hands on me now, and a flush ran through me. I ran a cursory finger over that spot on my neck that he had touched so long ago, and it felt hot, and I felt my breath catch in my throat, imagining his fingers there now. A vision of his lips came to me then, so plush and full, and I imagined what it would feel like to kiss him. 

A knock on the door came, startling me out of my daydream. I hurried over to peer through the peep-hole. I saw Poe, hands in pockets, waiting for me.

I opened the door, and motioned him in. “Poe, what are you doing here? Don’t you have work?”

“I thought I’d offer you a ride. The roads are really bad, and I wouldn’t want you to take the bus. Those things are always sliding off the road into the ditch.”

“That’s so sweet. You didn’t have to do that, but since you’re here, I’ll take you up on your offer. Give me a minute to finish getting ready.”

Poe took a seat at my table, and BB came towards him, and began to weave through his legs. 

I put on my work clothes, arranged my hair into my signature buns, and put a quick swipe of mascara and a red lip on, and I was ready. When Poe saw me, he grinned broadly, his eyes roaming over me. 

True to Poe’s prediction, the roads were bad. Poe navigated the mess quite well, avoiding a car skidding through a stop sign. 

“Aren’t you going to be late, Poe?”

“Yeah, but I’ve called in to let them know.”

“You really didn’t have to give me a ride. I could have taken the bus. I would have gotten there, eventually.”

Poe sent a quick smile my way. “Yeah, but I get to see you first thing, so it makes it worth it. Plus, then I know you’re safe.”

“Poe, I… uh, about what you were saying on Saturday before we met Han and Leia. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about me.” I fiddled with the buttons on my coat. I knew this conversation had to happen sooner rather than later. Peel it off like a Band-Aid, I coached myself. Get it over with quickly. “I don’t date. It’s not something I do, and not something I want right now. I think you’re a great guy, and I like hanging out, but I can’t do more than that.”

“I think we’d be great together, Rey. Why can’t you give us that chance?” Even though his eyes were on the road ahead, he was beginning to look forlorn. 

“I just can’t. I don’t date. We can still be friends, if you want.” 

“Is this about that guy? What was his name? Ben?” Poe’s voice was edging higher in pitch, and his grip on the wheel tightened noticeably.

“What? No, it’s not Ben. I haven’t seen him since I was a kid. If you have to have a reason, shit happened in Texas. As a result, I don’t date. That’s all I can really say.” I pushed away the memories threatening to surface and focused intently on my fingernails. 

“I see,” Poe said tightly. 

“Poe, I’m sorry. I just can’t.” 

Thankfully, we pulled up to the university then. Poe pulled up to the curb, and I leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek. As I leaned closer, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Move away, my instincts shouted. I persisted, though, and planted a kiss on his shaven cheek. As I began to lean away to exit the car, Poe caught my wrist in his hand, pulling me back. He rubbed his calloused thumb over the inside of my wrist. Wrong. It felt wrong. He pulled me closer, tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear, and sliding his hand down the side of my neck. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“You feel hot, are you getting sick?”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, again, for the ride, Poe.” 

I pulled my wrist out of his hand and left the car. I fought the urge to shudder, knowing he would be watching from the car. It was just a few more steps to my office. I hurried through the doors, and felt my nerves begin to calm down. I shook my head and shrugged off my coat. 

“Phew! Peanut! Get a whiff of that alpha! It smells like you took a shower in pheromones this morning.” Finn, my best friend who happened to be an omega, greeted me with a cup of coffee and giving me a sideways hug. “He smells seriously hot, whoever he is. Anyone I know?”

“Oh, no, Finn. It’s Poe. I’m not dating him, we’ve just been hanging out. I met him when I was trying to locate Obi’s will and records. He works downtown as a lawyer. I don’t think you’d know him, but I can introduce you if you like.” 

Finn leaned in, giving my neck area a quick sniff. “Are you sure you’re not dating? This guy straight up rubbed his scent all over you.”

“What? How do I not smell this?” I anxiously rubbed my sleeve over my neck. “And, uh, no we’re not dating. I don’t date people, remember?”

“Yeah, alright. Well you should hook me up with him, if you think he’d swing that way.”

I chuckled, and replied, “I’ll look into it for you. What’s on the agenda today?”

Finn and I were student advisors for the Faculty of Science. We handled all the paperwork and helped students when they either wanted to apply to a program or were having trouble in their program. Most days, it was excruciatingly boring, but it paid the bills, so I wasn’t going to complain too much. 

“There are a few appointments scheduled, and one is with a PhD student. I’m going to let you handle that one, because you know graduate programs a lot better than me now. Other than that, we have a staff meeting at three thirty, and I bet Amilyn will let us go home early because of the snow.”

Since I had been hired 8 months ago, I had been preparing for graduate school by researching programs, preparing my statements of intent, reviewing curriculum, and generally spending too much time overthinking things. As a result, I knew a great deal about the ins-and-outs of the graduate programs our university offered, especially because I had my heart set on a program here that would allow me to keep my job and still complete the program. 

I logged onto my computer and booted up my appointment system. Finn had transferred me the appointment with the PhD student. Kylo Ren, ID number 7749308. I looked them up in the system.  
Name: Kylo Ren  
Gender: Male  
Designation: Alpha  
Program of Enrolment: PhD Biochemistry  
Year of Enrolment: 4

The message accompanying the appointment request read as follows:  
“I believe I need assistance with paperwork. Thanks in advance.”

Well, that’s vague, but at least he was polite. The appointment was scheduled for after lunch, so I set about catching up on the weekend’s emails and voicemails. The day passed by quickly. I holed up in my office at lunch, working away at my essay for one of my applications. I was so absorbed in my work that I didn’t notice when it was time for my appointment. 

Finn knocked on my door, and cracked it open a hair. “Mr. PhD is here. Are you ready for him?”

“Oh, yes, sorry, send him in!” I quickly minimized the word document I was working on.

I peeked out from behind my monitor, and standing in my doorway, looking a bit abashed was Ben. 

“Ben? I have an appointment right now with Kylo Ren…” I stood and attempted to look past him out to the waiting area, which was difficult considering how his broad shoulders took up most of my door frame.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I actually go by Kylo now. So, your appointment is with me.”


	4. Bereft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. Rey's POV. Enjoy :)

As Ben walked into my space, pins and needles erupted all over my body. I was frozen to the spot, transfixed by his stare. I wanted to leap into his arms and kneel at his feet in supplication all at once. I cleared my throat and gestured for him to sit in the chair across from me, taking my own seat as well. I watched as he inhaled sharply. His expression noticeably darkened. Ah, yes, of course he was an alpha. How could he not be? He exuded alpha. 

“Rey.” His deep voice cut straight through my defenses. I felt it reverberate through my chest. I was melting. 

“Ben. Oh, er, Kylo. What can I help you with?” I struggled to regain my professional composure. He’s just another student. Just another student, I chanted internally. Just another student that I had fantasized about earlier today. No, just another student. 

“I need a PhD Advisory Committee Report form. Is that something you could help me with?” I found myself leaning forward, chin tilting to the right, exposing the column of my neck. 

Righting myself, I managed to squeak out, “Oh, yes, you can download that online. I can show you where to find it?” I pointed to my monitor then, swivelling it so he could see my screen.

He nodded and slid his chair imperceptibly closer, and I smelled him – pine, sandalwood, and something citrus… bergamot? What an interesting cologne. I wonder if his skin would taste like that. I gave my head a little shake. Focus, Rey. 

I turned back to my computer and pulled up the appropriate screen. “You need to log on to your Student Center, and then it would be under the Academic tab. Then you can click here, and it will give you a drop-down list of all the forms you could ever want. I’ll print one out for you, so you can have it, but if you need another in the future, that’s where to find it.”

“Yes, thank you. That’s very helpful.” I felt a tightening in my stomach. I pressed the print button, and absentmindedly, my hands drifted to my skirt, smoothing out the wrinkles, and tracing over the tops of my thighs. 

I grabbed the form from the printer hastily. In the process, I gave myself a paper cut on my index finger. Instinctively, I tucked the tip of my finger between my lips, running my tongue over the cut. I looked up and found Ben staring, his eyes dark and expression unreadable. 

I laughed nervously, removing my finger. “Paper cut. Supposedly the enzymes in saliva heal small cuts more quickly. I think I read that somewhere,” I explained, nervously biting my lip. 

I handed him the form, my breath catching in my throat. I forced an exhale out and watched as a slow smile spread across his lips. He was staring right back at me, watching expectantly.

“Oh, um, you’ll need to have your committee members sign, as well as your supervisor. If you have any comments for consideration, they can go at the bottom of the form. Then, you can bring it back to either me or Finn, the other advisor.”

“I’ll bring it by your office sometime this week.” The timbre of his voice caused my stomach to tighten again. Was I panting?

“Do you need anything else from me?” Please say yes, my thoughts entreated. I felt drunk off the scent of his cologne.

“That’s all, Rey, for now. I’ll be seeing you again soon, I’m sure.” 

We both stood at the same time. I looked up at him, towering over me. He looked like he was about to say something, but instead he lifted his hand and traced his fingertips over my collarbone, the briefest feather-light touch. Chills rolled through me, emanating from that spot. I felt the blood in my head drain and I felt faintly light-headed. He ran that same hand through his silky hair and took three steps back, putting distance and breathing room between us. 

“Thanks again, Rey.”

“Anytime.” He smirked and left my office.

Once he was out of view, I collapsed into my chair, closing my eyes and feeling his words play over and over again. 

_That’s very helpful._  
_I’ll be seeing you again soon._  
_That’s all, Rey, for now._

He had the same shit-eating smirk I had seen a thousand times that summer when we were young: the one he wore when I spilled Leia’s flour all over the kitchen, when he beat me at checkers for the millionth time, when he was jumping into the lake after pushing me in. Only now, instead of wanting to sucker punch him, I wanted to kiss it off him. 

Get a hold of yourself, Rey. He has a girlfriend. You are a professional. He’s just another student looking for a form. His cologne was dissipating from my office rapidly now, allowing my thoughts to refocus. As my head cleared, I felt strangely bereft, feeling a keen sense of loss and a small ache in my chest.


	5. Entreaty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens when Kylo encounters a complication at his research lab. Kylo's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some major inspiration for this chapter, and generally the plot and direction of this story. Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about research in biochemistry, and I know a little (tiny!) bit about the research world (funding, authorship, that sort of thing). Take what I write as a fictionalized, very exaggerated version of what could happen in a very dysfunctional lab. 
> 
> Kudos, comments, & bookmarks are so appreciated. Thank you everyone for over 500 hits! This is all very exciting for me :)

I was walking on clouds. I wanted to pinch myself just to check that I was indeed grounded in reality. Rey was a dream. Maybe a wet dream to be precise. My mind hung on the moment that her finger slipped into her mouth, stretching and distorting the memory, so that I could see her taking in my finger. Next my cock. And afterwards asking me, “Do you need anything else from me?” Everything, Rey. Everything. I want everything. There was the lingering scent of that dick wad Poe, but he could be dealt with.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Paige. I was instantly flooded with guilt, which quickly spiralled down into self-loathing. I needed to sort my shit out, for real. I needed to stop seeing Rey. I shouldn’t have gone to see her today. I’ll give the form to the other advisor when I need to hand it in. I unlocked my phone and read the text. 

_Kylo, you are an absolute ass. I can’t believe you would do something like this._

Did she know about how I had been thinking about Rey non-stop? There’s no way she could know. She wouldn’t suspect anything from me going to see an advisor. What was this about, then?

I texted back. _What are you talking about?_

Her reply came in seconds later. _Well first, you allowed Hux to be first author on the hippocampal cell change paper._

_What? I definitely didn’t do that._

_Well he says he’s taking first author._

_I’m on my way to the lab now. I will get it sorted out. Was there something else other than the authorship?_

_You know what you did._

Fuck, what does that mean? I definitely don’t know what I did to make her upset. I sighed, my good mood from being near Rey completely gone. I arrived at the lab moments later, determined to sort out at least one problem. 

“Hux! What is this I hear about you taking first author on my paper?” I demanded as I entered the lab. 

“Ren, it’s our paper, and you left me to do the bulk of the work this weekend,” Hux countered, looking up from the microscope.

“One weekend does not make a paper, you know that as well as I do. And, I had to redo your shitty work yesterday anyway. I am first author, and I should kick you off the project for trying to take it.”

“You’re giving second author to Tico, and that’s only because you’re fucking her. I’m doing much more work than she is, so clearly you don’t care about authorship-workload equity anyway.”

I stood taller, stepping closer to Hux, watching him shrink back. “It is my paper. Paige has made more intellectual contribution to this one paper than you have to the whole lab. Now back off, or I will kick you off the paper.”

“Now, now, boys. Let’s not get written up for creating a hostile work environment,” Bazine commented, emerging from around the corner. She strode forward, hips swaying, lips pursed. As she approached me, she gave a delicate sniff. “You smell like omega, Ren. Careful that you don’t get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I’m sure Tico wouldn’t be happy to discover she wasn’t enough for you after all.”

Omega? “I haven’t been around any omegas. Stay out of this, Bazine,” I spat. 

“Oh, this is perfect. You think you can have all the pubs, all the best projects, and you want all the pussy you can get, too,” Hux snarled, squaring up to me. 

My temper snapped. My alpha instincts were beginning to override logical thought. “Hux, I swear to –”

Bazine stepped in between us, putting a hand on my chest. “Easy, tigers. Hux, just because I agree with you doesn’t mean you have to get yourself killed. After scenting an omega, Ren, you should know better than to let your hackles get raised.”

I grumbled, stepping back. “Is there a reason you’re here, Baz? Shouldn’t you, I don’t know, be a thorn in someone else’s shoe?”

“Snoke wants to see you. Now.”

It was a bit unusual for Snoke to want to see me on a Monday. We met every Friday to recap the week and set targets for the coming week’s work. Our meeting on Friday had gone well, and he had even okayed my visit to my parents. 

“About what?” I asked Bazine.

“How would I know? You better get to his office now, though. He was in an okay mood, but you know as well as I do that could change if you keep him waiting any longer.”

I stalked off through the lab to Snoke’s office. It was fairly central in the lab, and definitely the grandest room of the lab space. Even with all of the expensive equipment in the lab and all of the computers, I am quite sure all the renovations made it the most expensive room. The door was framed by two massive one-way mirrors. From the lab space, all you could see was mirrors, but from inside the office, you could see everything going on in the lab. More than one research assistant had been fired on the spot by Snoke when no one knew he was watching. 

I knocked, and from inside came Snoke’s raspy voice, “Come in, Ren.”

Inside, Snoke sat at his obscenely furnished desk, aged fingers tented over a stack of reports. I was surprised to find Paige standing across from Snoke, staring daggers at him. She turned her glare to me.

“You’re in on this? I can’t believe you, Kylo. You’re despicable,” she hissed.

“Paige, your work has been less than subpar lately. You’re out. You have 10 minutes to collect your belongings before I call security.” Snoke’s voice was low and quiet. This was a dangerous tone, which registered plainly on Paige’s features, her eyes widening and blood draining from her face. “Obviously, you will not be included in any future publications, and I will not be providing a reference for your next lab. Get out, now.”

I watched as tears spilled out of her eyes, and stood, shocked, as she pushed past me and out of the office. I turned back to Snoke, who was smiling at me, yellow teeth bared. 

“Now there won’t be any distractions, my boy. Have a seat,” Snoke said, gesturing to the seat across from him. 

“Did you really have to humiliate her like that? I thought you were satisfied with her work,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

“She was… satisfactory, I suppose. But no, the real issue was her taking you from your work. You, my most senior researcher. I need all your attention on this work. I have the most productive research lab at the university and I am the leading voice on dementia in the country. We have a grant application coming up, and we need the results from the serotonin project in next week. I need it done right and done right now if we are to remain in the position I have put us in.”

“Next week? That’s not going to happen.”

“Oh, you’ll make it happen, Ren. You don’t have a choice. I think I’ve made myself clear that if you do not meet my expectations, you are free to leave, but your reputation… well, let’s just say you’d be lucky to get an RA position. You have until mid-day Friday next week.”

I pressed my lips together, and Snoke nodded, taking my non-reaction as a resolution. 

“Now, that’s settled. I’ve actually been quite pleased with your work as of late. You have showed impressive dedication to this lab and to me. Take this, a reward for your efforts, and insurance that your efforts will continue.” Snoke slid an envelope across his desk to me.

The envelope wasn’t sealed. I pulled out the contents: a cheque made out for $75,000. I slid it back into the envelope, my fingers hesitant. 

“What is this?” I looked up at Snoke and watched as his smile broadened. 

“Like I said, it’s a reward and insurance for me.”

“Where is this money coming from?” I felt cold. Realization was dawning on me then.

“I think you know, Ren.” Snoke was grinning ear to ear now. I heard blood rushing in my ears.

“The Tracey grant money. This money is supposed to be for our research budget.” Snoke’s continued smile was enough of a confirmation for me.

“If you don’t take it, I will assume you aren’t serious about your future here, and you can join your little girlfriend walking out the door.”

“Is this why you really kicked Paige out? Because she found out you were taking this money?” I wanted to drop the cheque and run. The envelope felt blisteringly hot in my hands. 

“She has zero evidence and I am going to do a thorough job of discrediting everything she says. I have you to thank for that, really. Your relationship with her provides the traction I need to paint her exactly how I want.”

“No, just let her go. I’m sure she won’t say anything. Let me talk to her,” I pleaded. 

“Oh, my boy. She thinks you’ve been in on this the whole time and I did you a favor by letting her know you told me you needed an omega, not some ineffectual beta who can’t even take a knot.”

I stood then, the force of my legs knocking the chair down behind me. The envelope lay crumpled in my clenched fist.

“Ah, careful there, Ren. I’m not sure if the bank will take a bent cheque. Yes, Paige did not like that comment any more than you do. Keep in mind, though, if you would like to continue your position here, I expect all of your focus. No girlfriend. Definitely no omega. No distractions. Now, get out and get to work. Remember, I need those results by Friday next week.”

I had been dismissed. I turned and marched out, shoving the crumpled envelope into my pocket. I pulled out my phone and dialed Paige’s number. Holding the phone to my ear as it rang, I continued walking straight out of the lab. Straight to voicemail. I tried again and had the same result. 

I typed out a text to her. _Paige, nothing of what he said is true. Please let me explain._

_You’re just like him, so fucking manipulative. Don’t contact me again. I’m blocking you now._

I swore loudly. I wasn’t sure if this day could get any worse.


	6. Appetite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's past threatens to overwhelm her present. She meets an unexpected friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is mention of past abuse in this chapter. It's a very very small part in this chapter, but will likely be detailed a bit more in future chapters, as it's a big part of character development. Also a heads up for people with emetophobia, this might not be your fave chapter. I'll put a summary at the end for those that want to skip.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading as well as all the Kudos, Comments & Bookmarks! I don't think I'll be able to update until next year (tomorrow, hehe). I hope you all have a safe and fun evening. Happy 2019!!

“Staff meeting in 10!” Finn called out as he peeked into my office, “Whoa. What’s … _Rey._ What’s going on?”

A thin sheen of sweat hung on my face, and I felt vaguely nauseous. “I’m just feeling a bit sick. I think it must be my period or something.”

“Who was in your office today? It stinks in here like Alpha and Omega,” Finn whispered, coming closer to me. He pressed a hand to my forehead. “Hot. You feel very hot.”

His touch had a calming effect on me, the nausea fading considerably. Finn cupped my face, looking at my pupils, and then he took a big sniff. “Oh, Rey. Oh no. Peanut.”

“What?”

“I think you’re going into heat,” Finn murmured, pulling up a chair to sit next to me. “I didn’t know you were an omega. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Finn, I’m beta. Betas don’t get heats.” There was an uneasiness in my stomach at the thought. There’s no way. 

“I couldn’t scent you until today, but you have a scent. Your skin is burning up, and I can sense what you’re feeling right now, which is not a thing that happens with betas. And clearly there’s been another alpha in here today. I would guess you have a day or two max before your heat sets in. At least that’s what you smell like.”

Completely overwhelmed, I lost the grip I had on my earlier nausea and my lunch came barrelling up. I grabbed the nearby trashcan just in time. 

“Oh, Peanut. I’m so sorry. We should get you to a clinic. They’ll be able to help you. I’ll tell Amilyn you can’t come to the staff meeting and I’ll be quick, so I can take you to a clinic. Just sit tight. Don’t go anywhere and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“I could just take the bus –”

“Don’t even think about it, Rey. The roads are only getting worse, and I at least have a car and we can go directly there.” Finn took the trash can from me and brought in the one from his office. “Try googling some breathing exercises for heats. I think that might help.”

I sat back in my chair, pulling in my knees and holding myself. This was proving my theory on how Mondays are always the shittiest days. I looked outside the window in my office. Snow had continued to fall, caking the world in a beautiful frosting. A few students hurried past my office, bundled up tight to keep warm.

Absentmindedly, I rubbed the back of my neck. My fingers stumbled across a raised texture that had not been there earlier. My fingers traced over it and I felt my core tighten sharply. Ben came to mind, then. Unbidden, my mind started to undress him. Off his shirt came, revealing what I imagined to be swaths of pale skin, studded with those moles – beauty marks, Leia liked to call them. His chest was strong and well defined. His abdominal muscles rippled as he bent down to remove his pants. Boxers or briefs? My mind couldn’t seem to make itself up; the underwear on imaginary Ben was flipping between the two.

I was startled by a knock on the door. Finn was back so soon? “Come in!” I called. 

It was not Finn after all. It was Paige, and she looked terrible. Her mascara was running in tracks down her cheeks. “I, uh… are you open? Your board outside says closed for staff meeting. I really need your help, though.”

“Paige! Yeah, come in. What happened?” I sat straight as guilt washed through me. I need to forget Ben. His name wasn’t even Ben anymore.

“I-I need to switch supervisors. Mine isn’t working out anymore.”

“That’s quite a complicated thing to do. What year of your program are you in?”

“Second year of my Master’s. Please, I’ll do anything. I just need to get into another lab.”

“Paige, there are two months left in the semester. I think it’s fairly unlikely that another lab would take you at this point.”

Paige looked at me straight in the eyes then. “I can’t go back. It’s not safe. I can’t trust anyone there anymore.”

Instantly, my mind was transported. I heard the stairs creak as Plutt came down the stairs into the basement. I cowered in the corner, trying to hide behind the spare furniture. There was another set of creaks on the stairs. Plutt was not alone. He had brought another one of his ‘buddies’. The stench of alcohol and cigar smoke hit me square in the nose and I struggled to breathe silently. “Come out, Rey. We’ll find you sooner or later.”

The urge to vomit was again overwhelming. I gripped the armrests of my chair, digging my nails in, cold seeping into the marrow of my bones. 

“Rey?” 

It was Paige. She looked concerned for me. I blinked a few times, remembering. The breath I took came out as a shudder. “Yeah, um, let’s see what we can do.”

“Thank you, Rey. I can’t explain how much this means to me.” Her relief was palpable. I felt my shoulders relax, sinking away from my ears.

“It’s what I do. Can you tell me a little bit more about what happened? That might give us some clues as to how to get you another supervisor.”

“I don’t know how much I can tell you, to be honest. Everyone there is in on it, and they’re going to try to put it on me.”

“Tell me what you think you can. What good will it do if you keep quiet?” I offered.

“They could make it a lot worse for me, I think.” Paige was nervously fiddling with her fingers. “If I leave now and don’t talk, I might actually be able to get into another lab. If they find out I’ve told, they’ll blacklist me from here all the way to Siberia.”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

“My supervisor, Snoke, and his protege, Kylo,” Paige spat out, her tone caustic. Fresh tears spilled out onto her already stained cheeks.

My blood ran cold. Numbly, I handed Paige a box of tissues. My mouth was dry, no words would come out.

“You’d think everyone would be nice to one another. We’re all just trying to help people with dementia, or so I thought. I didn’t expect people in this field to be so psychopathic. I mean, sure, sometimes the research involves slicing open some rat brains, but everyone is so self-absorbed and eager to cut others down after they finish using them.”

I nodded, still unable to process. 

“I was thinking maybe you could put me in touch with Dr. Akbar? He’s researching neuroganglia mitochondrial function. It’s somewhat related to what I’ve been working on.”

I did then what I do best: compartmentalized. I stowed away this new knowledge of Kylo into a box, shut the lid tightly, and shoved it away with the rest of the shit I did not want to think about. “Okay, that sounds like a good start. I’ll set up a meeting with your Master’s Thesis committee chair and get you a meeting with Dr. Akbar.” My fingers danced over my keyboard as I pulled up a series of forms, sending them all to print. “You’ll need to fill these out and bring them to the meeting with the committee chair. Also, get some Werther’s for your meeting with Dr. Akbar. He always cleans Finn out of his candy jar, and Werther’s are his favorite.”

“Rey, you’re the best. Seriously.” Paige startled me by giving me a hug. When she sat back, she was smiling for the first time.

I handed her the stack of forms and wished her good luck. Then I was alone again. Distraction had been a temporary balm and the searing heat came back in a crescendo of misery. The compartments in the back of my head rattled, threatening to spill forth. I fought them back, setting an imaginary weight on the boxes – a 90 lb kettle bell should do the trick, I thought. I felt empty. Empty not in the numbed way I was used to feeling, but achingly empty, with a hunger building that I knew food could never satisfy. Despite my tightly lidded box, visions of Ben danced before my eyes. Apparently, I still couldn’t decide whether he would wear boxers or briefs. Let’s go for a happy medium – boxer briefs. Did it even matter? Imaginary Ben was beginning to shed his underwear now, too. 

“Peanut,” Finn said firmly as he reappeared at my door. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey feels sick, and Finn thinks she's going into heat. Finn promises to take her to a clinic, but needs to go to the staff meeting. He tells Rey to sit tight. Paige drops by, upset after the events in her lab. She asks Rey for help transferring to a new supervisor. During the interaction, Rey has a flashback to a moment during her time in Texas. Rey manages to pull through, and helps Paige set up meetings to get transferred. Paige tells Rey that Kylo is in on whatever is making Paige switch.
> 
> TYSM everyone! <3


	7. Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey visits the clinic in order to address her symptoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Further mentions of abuse
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me, lovelies. I am back to work now, so chapter updates will be a little less frequent, but I will update as often as I can. xx

“At this point, your heat is unavoidable and very necessary. We will give you some blockers to delay this for a few days. That should give you some time to get things in order. An interesting case, you are, my dear,” Dr. Maz Kanata pondered as she palpated my lymph nodes. “You’re 23, no prior heats, no prior omega morphology or physiology. Your scent glands were latent, but they’ve emerged now. Did you get tested when you started puberty?”

My breath caught in my throat as the memories of my 13-year-old self threatened to surface. “Well, uh… no. My life was… complicated then.”

“Complicated how? Designation testing is mandated by almost all jurisdictions,” Dr. Kanata frowned, the wrinkles on her forehead deepening as she stepped back.  
Anxiety spiked within me, a wave of dizziness crashing through my head.

“Rey, I just want to help, and the best way I can do that is to know your story,” Dr. Kanata pulled her stool up and sat across from me, waiting patiently.

I took a steadying breath, and then began, “My parents died when I was young, and I was put into the care of a relative – Obi Wan Kenobi. He was a researcher and always travelling to present at different conferences and seminars. I was with him from the time I was a small child until age 12. We were in Texas for the last 6 months of his life, which was enough to establish residency in that state. I didn’t know it at the time, but he had dementia. He ended up passing away suddenly from a heart attack and no one was able to find his will or any documentation. Because of state law, I –”

My voice faltered, but I kept going. “I was placed into foster care with a man named Unkar Plutt. I was abused there. For several months, and then I ended up getting transferred to other foster families until I was 18. I kind of slipped through the cracks. People just assumed I was beta.”

I looked down at my hands, seeing the crescent shaped indentations from my fingernails in my palms. The sound of my heart beating filled my ears.

Dr. Kanata smiled sadly, nodding. “Rey, this explains so much. Abuse like what you experienced causes repression of omega hormones and delay or alteration of expression of your omega traits. One that is particularly sensitive is scenting. Have you been able to scent anyone?” 

“No, I haven’t,” I murmured, feeling broken.

“It might stay that way, or it might not. It really all depends. It’s interesting that your heats came about now. My guess would be an encounter with particularly potent alpha hormones.”

My mind jumped to Kylo and then to Poe. Did one of them trigger my heat?

Dr. Kanata refocused, “Alright. You appear to be in good health. Do you drink or smoke?”

“I don’t smoke, and I have an occasional drink if I go out with friends.”

“Good, I’m glad you don’t smoke. While you’re taking these blockers over the next few days, no drinks, no drugs, no close contact with alphas, got it?”

“What if I have an appointment with a student that’s an alpha?” I asked, my thoughts wandering to Kylo and his form.

“That should be fine if you avoid skin to skin contact of any kind,” Maz paused, thinking, “However, if you’re around an alpha whose pheromones are reactive to yours, it could still trigger a breakthrough, even on these blockers I’m going to give you. That would be quite rare, but I’ve seen it happen a couple times before.”

“I’ll have Finn cover the appointments this week, then. There’s no harm in focusing on emails and phone calls.”

“Great. Okay, so we’ve got some strong blockers to postpone this heat as well as suppressants for you to go on after, but your heat is going to happen in about 3 days, give or take 12 hours.”

I shifted nervously. Dr. Kanata fixed me with a kind smile. “There are options for you for your heats. I’ll give you a pamphlet that goes through some pros and cons. The decision is ultimately up to you. One thing I will recommend, though, is therapy. You seem like a very resilient and strong person, to your credit, but there is also no harm in asking for help.”

I left the appointment feeling much less uncomfortable physically and with pamphlets and a referral in hand. Finn was sitting in the waiting room, and he looked up with a smile when I approached. “Let’s get you home, Peanut.”

BB was waiting for me, next to my laptop, left open to my graduate school applications last night. I pet BB, scratching her gently behind her ear. Her responding purr made my heart hum with happiness. At least BB was a constant in my life, even if my designation was not. 

Deadlines were approaching rapidly, and I still had a lot of work to do on my number one choice application. The only hitch was that they required me to submit financial information, which was tied up in the documents missing after Obi passed. I would need to get in touch with Poe as soon as possible to resume the search for the documents again. 

I sent him a quick text. _Hey, can we look for Obi’s documents again tomorrow?_

Almost instantly, he replied. _I’m pretty tied up tomorrow, would later this week work for you?_

_Nope, it has to be tomorrow. I’ve got to get all the documents I can by the end of day tomorrow._

_Alright, I will squeeze you in. 5 pm good?_

_Yes, thank you! You’re a life saver._

_Anytime, sunshine._

As I was about to reply to Poe, another text came in from an unknown number.   
_I’ve found you, omega._


	8. Entranced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo struggles to keep his focus on his lab work, so decides to go hand in his form to Rey.

I am fighting distraction today, more than ever before. I cannot for the life of me focus on the output from the electron microscope in front of me. This technique helped me to see neurotransmission within the brain, but all I could see, overlaid across the screen, was Rey. I chastised myself, focusing harder. I had my notebook open next to me and I scribbled down quick notes about my observations. 

“You’re off your game today, Ren,” crooned Bazine, “Could it have anything to do with the omega I smelled all over you yesterday?”

“For the last time, there is no omega. Maybe I wouldn’t be off my game if you would stop interrupting me.”

“Deny it all you want but scent doesn’t lie. Your pheromones are spiking every five seconds. What is that they say about men and what they think of every 5 seconds?” Bazine grinned wickedly.

It’s annoying working with other alphas. “And why is it that you can’t leave me alone?”

“Oh, I will, just as soon as you tell me who she is.”

“No.”

“Or maybe it’s a he? Oh, I bet Hux would just die of jealousy.”

I fixed her with a cold stare, “Bazine, leave. I have deadlines and I imagine you do too.”

“Yeah, I’m actually waiting to use the electron microscope. You think I’d waste my time just to torment you?”

“Yes. Yes, I do, actually. You do that a lot,” I muttered, “Why do you need to use it? I thought you were working on the hippocampal cell migration project.”

“Snoke put me on the serotonin project.”

I turned to look at her fully now. She leaned against the lab bench, arms folded, with a neutral face. It looked like she was telling the truth. “When?”

“Yesterday, just before your meeting with him.”

Unbelievable. “He put me on the project just after you. I’m lead on the serotonin project now,” I stated firmly, bringing myself up to my full height.

“Alright, whatever. We have a tight deadline, so we might as well work together,” Bazine offered, holding her hands out in front of her, a peace offering.

“Okay. Can you finish the imaging I’ve been doing? I have something else to attend to,” I asked, thinking of the form I had to hand in, as well as of Rey. 

“Yep, that was my plan from the beginning. We can figure out a division of work after you, uh, finish attending to that thing you need to attend to,” Bazine replied with a sly smile. 

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I turned, grabbed my notebook and left, grabbing my coat from the hook on the door. The form from Rey was burning a hole in my pocket, demanding that I see her.

I walked quickly to my car, hopped in, and turned the key, relishing the satisfaction from the seat heater. I needed to let the car heat up first, allowing time for my windows to defrost. Winter was not always easy and sometimes a little heat was necessary. I chuckled at the thought, but then quickly sobered at the memory of Paige. Being with Paige had been so simple. She had an easy smile, she worked hard and intelligently, and easiest of all, she was a beta, so no complicated heats and no hormonal overdrive kicking in. My heart clenched, thinking of the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. She had not smiled the last time I saw her, and I had stood by and watched as her hard work had come crumbling down around her. I opened the email app on my phone, typing up an email to her.

_Paige,  
I am so sorry for everything. I had no idea about the grant money embezzlement until after he kicked you out. That doesn’t change the fact that I should have stood up for you then. I’m not proud of how I was, and I hope you can forgive me one day. _

_What Snoke might have said to you about us is patently untrue. I want you to know that I enjoyed our time together._  
And what was I going to say now? That in the past 24 hours, I’ve felt waves of relief that we weren’t together? That I’ve been obsessing over another girl even before Monday? What a mess. I deleted the whole thing, cursing myself for thinking an email could fix things. 

I opened Spotify and pressed shuffle on my favorite playlist, checking to ensure my phone was connected to the Bluetooth stereo. The speakers on my stereo blared out with a random song and I backed out of my parking space, navigating to the road. It was a 15-minute drive to the main campus where most of the offices were located. The roads were good today, so the drive would be easy. 

The lyrics to the song caught my ear:

_Kingdoms have fallen, angels be calling_  
_None of that could ever make me leave_  
_Every time I look into your eyes, I see it_  
_You're all I need_  
_Every time I get a bit inside, I feel it_  
_Ooh, who could've thought I'd get you_

Immediately, an image of Rey in my bed accosted me, her hair spread over my pillows, fingers gripping my sheets. Would her freckles extend down her chest? Maybe they’d be scattered all over her body. Imaginary Rey looked up at me through half-lidded eyes, mouth parted. I saw her pink tongue dart out to trace over her beautiful lips, inviting me in.

_And when we're making love_  
_Your cries they can be heard from far and wide_  
_It's only the two of us_

I felt myself getting hard. I skipped to the next song and cracked the window, allowing cold air to gust in. Damn you, Daniel Caesar. I came to a stop at the stoplight, taking a deep inhale as I pushed Rey to the edge of my thoughts, focusing instead on the lab work I had to do. Right. Hopefully Bazine could finish the imaging, and then I’d just have to run through the programs that would compile the data…

_Well I gotta say what's on my mind_  
_I wanna love you all the time, time_  
_Just wanna know what I could do_  
_Just to be standing up right next to you_

And just like that, Rey was back in my bed, this time her calves wrapped around my back, her fingers in my hair. I longed to thrust forward into her, my body yearning for her soft heat that would be awaiting me. 

A car behind me honked, urging me to move at the green light. I pulled my foot off the break and switched off the music, opting for silence. I looked in my rear-view mirror, glancing quickly at the person who had honked at me. It was a woman with massive sunglasses and a scarf wrapped up to her nose, obscuring what I imagined would be a scowl. I needed to be more careful, I thought, bringing my attention back to the road ahead.

The rest of the drive was silent and uneventful. I felt my heart beat faster as I approached her building. I took a steadying breath as I reached for the door handle and pulled, willing my body to calm down. Rey’s office was located behind a foyer where students, mostly undergraduates, sat studying. There was a gentle din of conversation and I walked swiftly through the tables, making my way to her office. I noticed then that the whiteboard next to her door said, “For all inquiries, please see Finn next door.” I smiled at what was obviously her handwriting: soft loops and sensuous curves, a mesmerizing blend between cursive and print. Although part of her office door was frosted glass, I could see through the unfrosted pattern that she was in her office, intently looking at her computer. A warm-looking sweater was wrapped around her delicate shoulders, and her hair was down, cascading in waves down her back. 

Why had she written that on her whiteboard? I huffed a sigh, pulling out my form. I looked down at it, resigning myself to see Finn. I moved to the adjacent office, noting the placard that said Finn’s full name but saw no one in the office. I knocked and there was no answer. My heartrate picked up again as I decided to take a chance and knock on Rey’s door. 

As I knocked, she looked up, startled. She met my eyes and her lips parted. She stood and walked over to the door, opening it just enough to stand in the doorway. 

“Kylo,” she breathed. A scent so intoxicating bowled into me, leaving me dumbstruck and mind emptied. “Is Finn not in his office?”

I stared at her, enthralled by the sparkle in her eyes, the way the light reflected off her hair. I watched as her pupils dilated, her hazel eyes staring back at me. She cleared her throat then and her eyes slid down to our shoes.

“Uh. Sorry, no, I don’t think so,” I replied finally, breaking the heavy silence between us. 

“Oh, um. Come in, then, I suppose.” She turned and walked back to her chair, plunking herself down and wrapping herself even tighter in her sweater. 

As I entered her office, all thought left my mind, everything became her scent. My eyes roved hungrily up from her feet, up to her calves, which were again wrapped around me in the images that flashed in my head. My eyes lingered at her throat and I watched her reflexively swallow. Then, her face. My breath caught, taking in her beauty. 

“ _Omega._ ”

Did I just say that? Her lips parted, and I watched her shoulders rise and fall more rapidly with breath. 

“ _Alpha._ ” Her voice was barely a whisper and it went straight to my cock. I felt, for the first time in recent memory, my knot beginning to expand. It took all the self-control I had not to lurch forward and wrap her tightly in my arms. I closed my eyes briefly and flexed my fingers into fists. I shoved my hands into my pockets, hearing the crinkle of the form. The paper against my fist brought me out of my trance somewhat.

“I didn’t know you were an omega, Rey,” I whispered. I wanted to fall to my knees in front of her, beg her to take me as her alpha.

“Neither did I. Not until yesterday.” She looked down at her lap, not before I caught apprehension play across her face. 

“What? How is that possible?” 

“Um, I don’t know, I’ve never… I mean. Uh.” She was blushing furiously now, her scent spiking and wrapping around us both.

“You’ve never had a heat. And it’s coming now.” My heart felt like it skidded to a stop as I voiced my realization, finishing her thought. 

She looked up at me and I saw fear in her eyes. I reached over to the door and shut it tight then, sealing us off from the students outside. I sat down on one of the spare chairs in her office and pulled it up close to her, our knees nearly touching. 

“Rey, you’re going to be fine. Everything is going to be alright. It only lasts a week at most and then you’re right back to normal.” I felt the tension that was radiating off of her ease, seeing her shoulders visibly relax and the crease between her eyebrows soften. 

“How would you know?” She was pouting. I wanted to bite her lower lip, taste her, swallow her, be inside of her…

“I’m an alpha, Rey. I’ve gone through ruts before. They’re not quite the same but similar.” At the thought of my rut, I felt my cock harden further. Luckily, I was still wearing my coat, which did an adequate job of concealing my arousal. 

Rey sighed, her breath brushing my cheeks. I leaned forward, drawing more of her scent into my lungs. I held my breath, wanting to hold onto her scent forever. There was no other aroma here diluting her pure golden fragrance. No trace of Poe. Relief and possessiveness curled in my belly. 

Before I could stop myself, I was saying, “Let me help you. Let me take care of you.”

Rey stiffened at my words, sliding her chair backwards. “Kylo, what about Paige?”

“We’re not together anymore,” I admitted, leaning back and shaking my head clear. “I’m sorry. I overstepped.”

“Kylo –”

For the first time in years, that name felt wrong. “Ben. Call me Ben.”

“Ben.” My name slipped out of her lips in a low voice. The sound of my name coming from her brought back a flood of memories from our summers spent together. It sounded like home.

“Rey.”

“Ben, I can’t.”

“Oh right, your boyfriend. Poe, is it?” I struggled to keep the edge out of my voice.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend. He won’t be seeing me through my heat, either. He doesn’t even know that I’m an omega, actually.” Satisfaction welled up in my belly and I felt my chest inflate. 

“But besides that, I don’t even know you anymore, Ben. Plus, you were dating Paige, what, like three days ago? And then I hear from her that you and your mentor are kicking her out of her lab in the middle of her second year of her Master’s degree and she was scared you’d blacklist her so she couldn’t find another lab.” The words tumbling out of her mouth turned to lead in my stomach. I felt adrenaline icing through my veins. 

I ran my hand through my hair, quashing the rising panic. “Rey, my supervisor, Snoke, is brutal. I would never do that to Paige or anyone else for that matter. Paige won’t let me explain what happened. She’s not talking to me anymore. Please give me the chance to explain.”

She softened then, her expressive eyes filled with empathy. She replied, “Okay. Not now, but we can meet up for coffee or something? And not this week, either. I have a feeling I will be otherwise occupied.”

I smiled, and she chuckled. “Thank you, Rey. I’ll give you my number. Call me or text me anytime.” 

She pulled out her phone from her sweater pocket and handed it to me. For a briefest moment, our fingers grazed, and she gasped. “Shit. I’m not supposed to touch anybody.”

“Rey, we’re married. I think you’re allowed to touch me,” I said with a cheeky grin. I programmed my number into her phone.

When I looked up, she was still confused, so I said, “Chewie walked you down the aisle, remember?”

I watched the memory dawn on her and she burst out into glorious laughter that sent chills down my spine. “Oh, you’re right. I forgot about that.”

I handed her back the phone and watched as she quickly sent a text. “There, I’ve sent you a text, so you have my number as well.”

A knock resounded at the door. Both of us jumped in our seats, and Rey stood, brushing past me in an intoxicating wave of scent. “Oh, it’s Finn. I’m not supposed to be around alphas right now.”

She opened the door wide, and I watched as our collective scent hit the young male omega standing at the door. He looked worried, then confused. “I just went to grab a cup of tea and I ran into Snap. You know how he gets really chatty. Are you okay?” His voice was low, but not so low that I couldn’t hear.

“Finn, this is Ben. I know him from when we were little. He’s here to, uh…” Rey looked at me then, unsure of what to say. 

“To hand this in,” I said, pulling the crumpled form out of my pocket.

Finn looked at Rey, then at me, a knowing look settling on his face. “As long as everything’s okay…” He gave Rey a pointed look and then retreated to his own office.

I stood, and put the form on Rey’s desk, trying to smooth out the wrinkles my fist had formed in the paper. 

“I should be going, now, actually. But, Rey, call me if you need me. And let me know about the coffee or whatever.” I fixed her with a soft gaze, resisting the urge to embrace her.

“Thank you, Ben. I will.” She remained standing near the door, leaning her head against the door beside her, baring her neck to me. My mouth watered, and I swallowed.

I forced my legs to move, my muscles resisting me with each step, urging me to stay and protect my omega. To claim her as mine, to fill her in every possible way, to meet her every need. Somehow, I made it out of her office. I looked back and saw her smiling. 

I pulled out my phone as I got to my car. The text from Rey was waiting: _Hi, it’s me, your wife ;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned/featured in this chapter:  
> \- Get You - Daniel Caesar featuring Kali Uchis  
> \- Next to You - Mac Ayres & Chris Anderson
> 
> Also just want to say a huge thank you to all of you who have read, commented, and left kudos! I am having so much fun writing this story. I hope your first week of 2019 has been great.


	9. Buoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey searches for documents connected to Obi, but runs into some trouble as her heat approaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading, and all the comments and kudos. You are all so great and wonderful. I am so sorry about the long break. Right after I started writing this in January, a person (very near and dear to me) who was a part of the source of inspiration for this story passed away. It was really hard to come back to this story. It's been just under five months now, and it's starting to get a little bit easier to separate this story from its initial inspiration. Thank you all for your patience with me, especially anyone who is coming back after 5 months - and for anyone who is new, welcome and thanks for stopping by! 
> 
> A bit of a content warning for this - this chapter does contain a small panic attack similar to what's been in a previous chapter, and a bit of an altercation. If you want to skip the altercation, stop reading at "Oh, this is good, Rey." and you can start again at "I pulled out my phone".
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy this installment. Let me know what you think of it and where you think things might be going :)  
> -mo0nstone

The look Finn had given me was the equivalent to a teacher saying, “See me after class.” As soon as Ben was out of sight, I scurried into Finn’s office and shut the door behind me.

“Peanut! How is it that I leave you alone for 15 minutes and a big hunky alpha gets you in your office with the door closed? I thought I was going to have to break in for a second,” Finn admonished.

“I know, I know. I don’t exactly know what happened, but I want to do it again,” I giggled. 

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Finn joined me in my giggling. “Let me know if you’re not feeling well, and I’ll take you straight home, unless you have other plans?”

“No, no. I’ve put in my time off request and I’ll be home until Wednesday next week. I’m sure it won’t be that bad, right?” I looked at Finn, my giggles disappearing.

“Famous last words,” he deadpanned, “No, you’ll be just fine, as long as you have lots of food and water, and a big fat dildo.”

Our laughter resumed and I made my way back to my office. The scent in my office was intoxicating. Ben’s scent still lingered and I breathed it in, filling my lungs fully with the potent blend. I did catch another scent though, something distinctly floral with a bit of spice. Not Ben. Not someone I recognized. Nothing appeared to be missing, despite me leaving my phone and keys on my desk. My computer was exactly how I left it, grad applications open on my screen. 

Chills crept up my spine, the same ones that occurred when I saw the text from the unknown number last night. I had checked with Finn and he didn’t know the number. I had tried googling the number, but no luck. I elected not to text the number back and just wait and see. 

I shook the chills off and looked at Ben’s number in my phone. My thumbs felt restless, urging me to send him another text. What would I even say? I put my phone down and resumed work. My grad applications were nearly done, which was a good thing, as I needed to submit them very soon. 

A notification for a new email came in, and I read over the email and read it again, not believing what I was reading.

I reread the email for what felt like the fifth time, excitement dancing through my system.

From: b.netal@ucity.org  
To: r.kenobi@ucity.org  
Subject: Graduate Interview Invitation

Dear Ms. Kenobi,

I am an Assistant Professor in the Department of Cognitive Psychology. An associate of mine passed word to me that you were interested in pursuing graduate studies in Psychology at City University. Your undergraduate work is quite impressive, and as we are looking for a talented graduate student to join our team, we would like to invite you for an interview tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM to meet you and discuss opportunities for your studies here.

Please confirm your interest to me as soon as possible, as we are looking to interview candidates tomorrow and make the decision by the end of this week.

Regards,

Dr. Bazine Netal  
Assistant Professor  
Cognitive Psychology  
City University

I typed out a response accepting the offer as fast as I could. I was close to hyperventilating. They must have already read my reference letters or read the statement of intent that I submitted last week. Five minutes later, another email rolled in. 

Dear Ms. Kenobi,

I am delighted that you have accepted our offer. Please arrive on the secondary campus, in the Fraser Building, Room 403 at 8:45 AM tomorrow morning. We will give you a tour of our lab and an overview of our current projects. You can find information about our lab at the link attached in the overview document above. Please come prepared with any questions you might wish to know about our team or initiatives.

In the meantime, let me know if you have any further questions.

Regards,

Dr. Bazine Netal  
Assistant Professor  
Cognitive Psychology  
City University

A plan formed in my mind. Tonight, I would do my best to get things sorted with Poe, then tomorrow morning, I’d have the interview, stop by the grocery store on the way home, and then cook up a storm before my heat set in. That way, I would be home by the time my heat would arrive and I would be prepared with food. I made a mental note to buy more Tupperware containers for the meal prepping I planned to do. Maybe a nice chili would be good? I popped another emergency suppressant in my mouth. Hopefully this would last until tomorrow afternoon. 

Poe picked me up at the end of my workday and we drove down to his downtown office. 

“I’m lucky I have you to help me sort through this. I doubt I’d find an archivist willing to help me.”

“Don’t sweat it, Rey. I am more than happy to do what I can to help. Can you tell me a bit more about what we’re looking for, specifically?” Poe said with a smile, his eyes lingering a bit too long on me and not the road ahead. Speaking of sweating, I was feeling hot, even tempted to roll the window down and let in some winter air. 

“I, uh, don’t know exactly. Obi had told me that he was going to leave me some money to help me through school. When he passed suddenly, all of his wills were missing, even from the lawyers’ offices, although they said they had seen the documents and signed them. So, I guess we’re looking for the wills, or any documents that could lead to a will. Really any information about him in general, honestly. I was only 12 when he passed, so if there’s anything about him, I’d want to see it,” I mused. I missed Obi very dearly, and my memories still articulated the way his wispy white hair settled around his features, and the kind crinkle of his eyes.

“Rey, I can’t imagine losing your family so young. It must have been so hard,” Poe put his hand on my knee and I jerked away instinctively, recoiling from his touch. He took his hand back, and I watched as his other hand tightened around the steering wheel, knuckles whitening. 

It was blissful to get out of the car. A potent stink had been filling up the cabin, and I had completely sweated through my shirt and sweater. Damn, I’d have to wash this stupid parka and pay for dry cleaning. I yanked the zipper of my jacket down, allowing the wintry air to push its cold fingers through the weave of my sweater. 

“Rey, it’s like -30, can’t you wait until we get inside? You’re going to be freezing,” Poe laughed. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, I was just hot from being in the car, no big deal.”

I followed Poe into the office building, which loomed overhead like a monolithic phallus. “Get your head out of the gutter, Rey,” I muttered under my breath. I had to focus on Obi, and my future. Just for the next 17 hours. 

“Our firm keeps a hard copy of all of the documents processed by this branch and the international branches, and they’re all stored in the basement. I should warn you ahead of time, it’s a lot of boxes, and it’s not as well organized as it should be,” Poe explained as we clambered into the elevator. 

I shucked off my jacket, unable to wait any longer. I heard Poe shift on his feet ever so slightly and snuck a sidelong glance at him. He looked like he had been punched in the gut – eyes wide, posture stiff, and nostrils flared. _Shit._ I sent a silent prayer to the powers that be to please let Poe hold his composure just for a couple hours. 

The elevator came to a halt and the doors opened to the basement level, revealing an almost pitch-dark room, aside from a glowing red EXIT sign in the distance. Instinctively, I took a step back, my back colliding with the elevator wall. Poe didn’t seem to notice as he fiddled with his phone to find a flashlight. 

I felt my heart kick into high gear, slamming against my ribcage and causing the all-too familiar cascade. My stomach clenched and I felt nauseous. I couldn’t breathe; my throat was closing up. I slid down the wall and hugged my jacket close, pressing the material against me. 

I would not go back. I will not go back. I’m not back there. I’m not. I’m. 

I felt the burn of rope against my wrists again. The ache in my belly from hunger. The pain of light against my eyes when the door opened after god-knows-how-long in the dark damp basement. Tears streamed down my face. 

My nose picked up a smell then – pine, sandalwood, bergamot. I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate a fraction, and then I could breathe. It was like surfacing from underwater, and all of a sudden, I was breathing in lungfuls of this heady aroma that had miraculously found its way into my jacket. I rubbed my face into my jacket, taking the soft inner fabric over my neck, down the center of my chest. 

“Rey! Rey, what’s going on?”

I looked up to see Poe on his knees, pressing against the elevator doors as they tried to shut around him. He had found the light switch, apparently, and I could see endless shelves behind him of file boxes. 

“Rey, come on, honey, you gotta say something. Talk to me, here, I’m going crazy,” Poe urged. When the elevator doors slid shut again with an indignant chime, he balled his fists up and hammered on one, his knuckles crashing into the metal. “Aw, fuck, that hurt.”

I kept inhaling through my jacket. Lifting my face away for a brief moment, I whispered, “I don’t do dark places. Especially basements.”

“You got some kind of phobia or something?” He held out a hand, but I pushed myself up using the elevator wall, still clutching my jacket tightly to my chest.

“Yeah.” It was easier than the truth. He looked hurt at the rebuff and my one-word answer. He turned away. 

“Well, I guess we can get started, then, if you’re okay again. My fist really hurts. I might have to pop upstairs to get some ice.” He walked off into the maze of shelves without a glance back. 

I followed wordlessly, ever grateful for the fluorescent lighting. My legs wobbled underneath me, but with each step, I felt normalcy returning. He came to a shelf with a label 2007-2008. He popped open the lid of the nearest box, peering in for a moment before he gave a hearty sigh and then pulled the box off the shelf. “We can start here. I actually am going to go get some ice. Will you be okay down here for a few minutes?”

“As long as the lights stay on, I think I’ll be fine.” I set down my coat on the shelf recently divested of its box and crouched down next to the file. 

Poe looked down at me. “Alright, I’ll be back soon. Look for anything related to the Dallas firm, and definitely anything that mentions either Obi or his primary lawyer, Ernest Stanton.”

With that, I was left alone with a thousand or so boxes. Honestly, this wasn’t so bad. I pulled out a file that was a bit yellowed around the edges from age, but otherwise in good condition. After leafing through the pages, I found nothing relevant, and slid it back into the box. Onto the next file. 

Poe had been gone quite a while and I had finished the box he had pulled out. There wasn’t anything relevant, but there were eleven other boxes from the same time years. I swapped out the box for the next with some effort. I was getting hot again, so I peeled off my sweater, noting how the underarms were soaked with sweat. Now I was just in a short-sleeve, and the basement air felt cool around my arms. This box went by much more quickly, as all of the files were about a handful of cases in the New York branch. Onto the next box. I opened the lid of the box, and my eyes latched onto a phrase that I recognized: Alzheimer’s Association. I slid it out, and greedily raked my eyes over the contents of the files. 

Obi’s research was on cognitive decline, specifically the socioemotional and psychological toll of dementia and Alzheimer’s. He was a prominent advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association, and I remembered him being invited to a lot of speaking engagements with them. My preteen mind didn’t quite comprehend the complexities of his research, but I knew enough to guess that this might have something to do with Obi. 

A faded picture slid out of the file and landed face-down on the floor. A caption was scribbled in black pen on the back – Lazarus and Obi, 1992. I gasped and reached for the photo, holding it carefully around the edges so as not to smudge it with my fingerprints. There he was, smiling broadly out of the photo, flawless smile beaming right at me. Obi. My heart clenched with a wave of joy and sadness intermingled, overwhelming me with just how much I missed him. His arm was around a man of around the same age, who was not smiling quite as broadly. His features were not unhandsome, but there was something about the way his skin was stretched across his face that had me wanting to avert my eyes. Both men were standing in front of what looked to be a research poster. They must have been colleagues. 

“Hey! Did you find something?” I was startled by Poe’s voice booming through the stacks. 

“Yeah, a photo!”

“A photo? What good is a photo? Where did it come from?” I handed Poe the file as he approached, and a half a second too late, I withdrew my hand, but not before our fingers touched. I winced and hoped silently that my suppressants were still working.

“Oh, this is good, Rey. Good job. You found the start of a paper trail. I can work with this. Who’s in the photo?” Poe leaned towards me, looking over my shoulder at the photo I still held in my hands. 

In the process of doing so, I heard him take an in-breath. “Rey… you… you-”

I stepped forward, away from Poe, and turned around to face him. His eyes were rapidly shifting, pupils dilating as he evidently had taken in my scent. He was frozen in place, staring with unseeing eyes. I slid the photo into my back pocket and held my hands in front of me, silently pleading with him to come back to his senses. 

“Poe, I think you need to take me home.”

The sound of my voice apparently spurred some gears in his brain to function, but not all. “Home. _Yes_. Good. Nest for _omega_. Yes.” 

He took a step towards me, setting aside the folder I had worked so hard to find so carelessly. He reached both arms towards me, and I ducked underneath, snatching my coat from the shelf. Fuck. “Poe, stop. Get a hold of yourself.”

He whirled on me, anger contorting his features. “You _will_ submit, _omega_.” His voice came out in a menacing growl and I felt some part of my body struggle with the guilt of disobedience. He stalked towards me again, on a slow prowl and I backed up step by step, feeling adrenaline rush through me, dousing my veins with strength sourced from fear. 

“Poe,” I said, trying to lower my voice as a warning, but it came out as a squeak. 

He lunged for me, and without thinking, my hand swiped across his face, slapping him hard. He reeled back for a second, affording me just enough time to pull out a heavy box from a nearby shelf and land it onto his feet. 

I turned and ran, heart in my throat, making a break for the elevator. I slid across the concrete floor, shoulder checking the doors as I frantically pushed the elevator button. Too late, Poe was right there, and I narrowly missed being caught by a grasping arm by jumping to the side. The EXIT sign loomed across the basement, indicating a stairwell. I ran towards it, my boots slapping across the concrete floor with loud echoes. I slammed my body into the door handle and the door mercifully swung forward. I took the stairs three at a time, hearing Poe’s boots stomping a step behind me all the way up. 

I felt a hand close around the back of my shirt, and I swung around, bringing my elbow to collide with the side of Poe’s head. He growled as he clutched the side of his face. I kicked him in the knee as hard as I could and whirled around to keep going, not sparing a single glance backward. The stairwell lead to a street level exit that I burst through, spilling onto the concrete of the sidewalk. Snowflakes floated down around me, but I didn’t waste a second. I pushed myself up and ran. 

If there’s one thing I am exceptional at, it is running away. I think I’ve really mastered the art of escaping basements, although I’ve only had to do it one other time. Still, I reflected, fighting back hysteria, this makes two for two. I careened around a corner, nearly sliding on a patch of black ice. I kept on running. City blocks whizzed by, and without exception, the blocks were empty of people. I guessed people had already gone home. It was dark now, and after I lost count of how many blocks I’d run, I felt the adrenaline wear off. 

I pulled out my phone and saw the time: 8:12 pm. Six missed calls from Poe. I opened up to my contacts and called the first number I could find that wasn’t Poe. 

“Rey?” He answered after one ring.

“I need your help, Ben.” I couldn’t help the tears from coming now. Shock was overtaking me, and I put my back to the wall of the building behind me. 

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Where are you?” he sounded as panicked as I felt.

“Poe, he… he went crazy and … attacked me. I’m downtown, on the corner of uh…” I looked over at the street signs near me, “8th and Broadway. Can you come get me?”

Sobs were threatening to choke me now. “Yes, of course. I’ll be there in less than ten minutes. Are you safe?” I heard movement on his end of the phone, and a set of doors opening and closing.

“F-for now. Can you stay on the line until you get here?” I was out and out whimpering now, latching onto the honey-smooth tones of his voice. “Just talk to me. T-tell me something good.”

“Rey, you’re doing so well. You did such a good job in calling me,” he murmured, his words a balm for my fraying nerves. I put the phone on speaker so I could pull on my jacket. I then cradled the phone and sank down to the ground, curling into a ball, allowing myself the small comfort of resting here.

“Do you remember when we would take Chewie on walks? We would go into the ravine, and Chewie would be our leader. We would let him pull us wherever he wanted to smell. And one time, he ran right into a porcupine. Do you remember that, Rey?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, lost in the memory of Chewie’s round body dipping into the bushes after a snuffling creature.

“Yeah, he got a face full of porcupine quills, poor guy. He was so freaked out, but you know what? You managed to get him calm enough so I could pick him up. I carried him, and you held his paw the whole way back up the ravine.”

After a few minutes of being carried, Chewie almost seemed like his normal self. His tongue had lolled out of his mouth, and his tail started wagging again.

“We took him to my dad, do you remember, Rey? And we rushed to the animal hospital. They got him right into a room, and we all went in, you, me, my dad, and Chewie. Do you remember what happened next, Rey?”

“The vet started to clip and pull out the quills, one by one. I didn’t like watching it.”

The sight had been pretty gruesome, and Han had to hold Chewie down. 

“Right, and you remember what we did? I held you in my arms and we told Chewie how brave he was, how special he was, what a good boy he was.”

I had buried my face into Ben’s chest, which seemed to help calm me down. I doubted that Chewie could have heard me speaking; my voice would have been so muffled. But I felt the resonance of Ben’s voice through his chest and felt his arms around me. 

“Rey, I’m almost there. You’re doing so well. I’m turning onto Broadway, and I’m a couple blocks away. I’m in a black Audi.”

I sniffled and stood, coming to the corner, and relief flooded through me as I saw a pair of headlights draw close. The car skidded to a stop, and Ben hopped out, still in a crisp white lab coat. He practically leapt towards me and swept me up in his arms. 

Tears came in torrents then, and the sheer relief of being safe washed through me. I breathed deeply, welcoming Ben’s scent into my lungs. I clung to him as if he was a single buoy in an ocean I was drowning in. I noticed then that he was shaking, too. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried.” I felt his voice rumbling through his chest. My muscles started to unwind and relax. He exhaled a big sigh into my hair, and then pressed his lips against the top of my head. 

“Safe now,” I whispered into his chest, rubbing my cheek against his lab coat. 

“Let’s get you home, Rey.”


	10. Patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben discuss what to do next as Rey's heat approaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading. Let me know what you think of this update! I appreciate your comments, kudos, and hits so much. :)

I was reluctant to let go of him. I had to actively command my fingers to unfurl, to let go of his lab coat. That was when I noticed the stinging. As I withdrew my hands, I saw smears of dirt and blood across the heels of my palms from when I had fallen just outside of the exit. I sucked in a quick breath as I saw the smears that were now on the sides, and probably the back of Ben’s pristine lab coat.

“Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry, I got blood on your coat.” _Alpha won’t be happy with you._

“You’re bleeding?!” Ben reached for my hands and studied them gently. “Oh, Rey. We need to wash the cuts out. Don’t worry about my coat; I’ll just buy a new one.”

“I’m sure I can get the stains out. A little vinegar, or club soda-”

“Seriously, don’t worry about it.” He turned my hands over and back, assessing my wrists too. He lightly ran his thumb against the newly raised glands on my wrists and I felt a wave of heat crash through me, landing right in my core. I looked up into Ben’s face, and saw hunger in his eyes.

Wordlessly, he ushered me into the passenger side of his car, and I was instantly wrapped in a heavenly scent. I relished in the sense of safety I felt, which was heightened as Ben got in the car, adding even more scent and warmth.

“What happened, Rey?” Ben shifted the car into gear, and started to drive.

“I was with Poe and we were looking for documents about Obi. I guess he got too close and he just snapped. He wanted me to go home with him and _submit_ , whatever that means.”

Ben’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel and he looked visibly agitated. When he spoke, his voice was low, “He used an alpha command on you?”

“An alpha command?”

“Was his vocal pitch lower? Did you feel compelled to obey?”

“Yeah, why is that?”

Ben took a breath to steady himself. “Alpha commands are these archaic means of compelling omegas to do an alpha’s bidding. Works on some vestigial part of alpha and omega hindbrain psychology. They’re not used anymore, because it overrides an omega’s ability to provide consent. It’s considered assault in most cases, so you could press charges if you wanted to.”

“I think it’s my fault. I didn’t tell him I was an omega…” I trailed off, looking down at the scrapes on my palms. The blood felt sticky, but what really caught my attention was the persistent itch that was slowly but surely ramping up in my wrists. My neck, too, demanded my attention. “God, it’s all my fault. I should have known better.”

Ben was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke, his voice was tight. “It wasn’t your fault. Yes, you should have warned him, or just rescheduled, but even without knowledge of your designation, Poe should have been able to recognize what was happening and control himself. That’s what the rest of us do, no matter the consequences.”

I looked up at him then, watching his jaw flex as he clenched his teeth. He was staring straight out at the road ahead, eyes hardened with apparent concentration. _Calm your alpha. Scent him._ Following the unbidden thought, I leaned over and rested my head on Ben’s shoulder. I felt the tension in his muscles melt, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the delirious ecstasy that was being close to him.

“Rey, you… you smell so unbelievably incredible.” His breathing was ragged, he was nearly panting. I took a deep inhale and felt my core tighten. The sweating was coming back now, too. I nuzzled my way closer, nearly climbing out of my seat in an effort to press my face against his skin. 

“You do, too, Ben. So so good.” I was dizzy with how good he smelled.

“Rey, we have to be careful. Your heat is starting really soon, and you may even start in the next few hours. I want to help you so badly. I would do anything to help you, but I know that’s not what you wanted. I’m going to roll down the windows now to give us some air.”

I heard a high pitched whine. Oh, that was coming from me. As the cold air rushed into the car, I was able to give myself a little shake and returned to sit upright, feeling increments of sanity returning. “I can’t go into heat that soon, I have an interview for grad school tomorrow.”

Ben looked at me then, alarmed. “Why would you schedule an interview right before your heat?”

“It was a super last minute thing that I was invited to, and they said they plan to make offers by the end of this week. If I don’t go tomorrow morning, I miss my shot at this lab. It seems like a really good lab, too. Plus, it’s only supposed to be 45 minutes. I was going to stop at the grocery store on the way home – it’s right on the same train line, and then I was going to cook food for my heat.” I looked down at my bloodied hands, suddenly filled with doubt, realizing that I overestimated just how much time I’d have.

Ben sighed, “As bad as the timing is, I agree that you probably shouldn’t miss the interview. It is a bit early in the season to be making admission offers, but different labs have different timelines. Do you have any emergency suppressants?”

“I have one more, and I was going to take it tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, that should work for a short interview. But you absolutely cannot take transit, and definitely don’t go to a public space like the grocery store so close to your heat.”

My thoughts started to race. How would I get to the interview? Finn would be at work, and I definitely couldn’t call Poe. What about food? All the pamphlets said to have food ready and available. Thinking of the sparse contents of my cupboard and fridge, I tried to visualize a meal I could make. Let’s see, there was a can of kidney beans, a jar of relish, some instant oatmeal…

“Rey, I can practically hear you trying to figure it out. I can help,” Ben looked at me. “Please let me help.”

I relented, “Okay, but just with the food situation. I don’t even know what to pick up or make.”

“That’s the easy part. I have a meal delivery subscription for my ruts. I haven’t had to use it in a while, so I have a bunch of credits. They just pop a care package right outside your door, delivered safely and inconspicuously by a guaranteed beta. I’ll set it up for your address tonight. Do you still not like onions?”

I laughed out loud, suddenly remembering pushing slimy cooked onion around on my plate before dumping it onto Ben’s. Leia was good about remembering what I liked, but Han always 'forgot’ and put onions in everything. “I can’t believe you remembered. I like them now… well, they’re still not my favorite, actually, but I eat them.”

“How could I forget having a mountain of onions dumped on my food every time my dad cooked?” His eyes lit up in our joint remembrance. “Okay, well that’s good to know. Now for the transportation. I can take you to and from tomorrow, it’s no problem. Where do you need to go?”

“It’s on the secondary campus, in the Fraser building. I need to be there for 8:45.”

“Oh, perfect, that’s the building next to where I work. Tell you what, why don’t you stay over at my place tonight? I have a spare bedroom and everything. That way, we can just go to the campus tomorrow morning. You can show me how to get the stains out of my coat, and I’ll cook you dinner. Just as friends, no funny business, I promise.”

I looked into his face, and found myself saying yes before I’d even considered it. His expression was open and genuine, and I felt for a moment like the young kid I had been with him, like nothing bad had ever happened.

“Good, we can consider this our coffee to catch up. It’ll be just like old times - we can even put on Charlie’s Angels if you want,” he chuckled.

I laughed along with him, again surprised that he had remembered one of my favourite movies, but asked, “Are you sure I’m not imposing? I’m sure you’re really busy with your research. It’s grant season, after all.”

“Every season is grant season in my lab. Don’t worry about me. I want to help in any way I can,” Ben assured me. 

************************************************************

This had to be a dream. I could scarcely feel my legs as I trailed after her, watching as she took in my apartment. 

“So clean in here. Smells like you, too.”

“Oh, uh, thanks. I’ll take your jacket for you.” I held out my hands for her jacket, seeing her slender form emerge from underneath the bulky parka. Waft after waft of her scent was hitting me, each wave further lulling me into a trance. This was a bad idea. I hung up the jacket in the front closet, fully knowing that by tomorrow morning, all of my jackets would smell like her. 

She turned to face me, hands extended. “Okay, now give me your lab coat and vinegar, if you have it. Girls are natural experts on getting blood stains out so this should be a breeze.”

I smiled in spite of myself at the image of her, bloodied and bruised, looking to take care of me. “First, let’s take care of your hands, then you can shower, and then, maybe, we can look at my lab coat.”

“The stain will set the longer we wait, though!” she insisted, a line of concern appearing in between her eyebrows. 

I just rolled my eyes and reached for her hand, threading her fingers through mine, taking care to avoid touching her palms. As easy as breathing, I lead her through my apartment to the guest washroom. I pointed to the closed lid of the toilet. “Sit here.”

I turned the faucet on to warm the water and opened up the cupboard below, looking for the first aid supplies I had stored there. Pulling out rubbing alcohol and an assortment of different sized bandages and bandaids. I wasn’t sure what the actual sizes of the cuts would be, so better to have them all out and ready. I pulled the hand towel off its rack and put it under the faucet, and knelt before Rey. “Hands, please.”

She obliged, extending hands palms face up. Even with blood and dirt, her hands were elegant and beautiful. “You know, I feel like I’m with a real doctor, with you in your lab coat.” 

I dabbed at her hands with the dampened towel. “Well, you’re an excellent patient, aside from insisting that you clean my coat.”

I looked at her with a grin, watching her swallow. Her scent spiked then, another wave bowling into me. Thank god for high grade suppressants. Even still, I started breathing shallowly through my mouth. Once I was satisfied with cleaning the dried blood and dirt, I sat back and looked at the cuts. “Not as bad as it looked with the blood. Good.” I applied some antibacterial cream and put some bandaids overtop. I hummed with satisfaction and pride for having taken care of Rey. I caught myself almost leaning forward to place a kiss on each palm. 

Inappropriate, Solo. Just friends, just friends, just friends. I stood up quickly to get myself out of the cloud of her scent. I stepped back and began to back out of the washroom. “There’s towels here, and extras in the cupboard if you need them. There’s also some suppressant body wash in the shower, which I might recommend that you use… you know, for your interview.”

It would have been impossible to miss the dejection on her face, and my instincts railed against my self-control. I lingered by the door, fighting hard not to surge forward towards her again. 

“I’ll, uh, make us something to eat. Do you need anything else?” 

_Please say yes, give me an excuse to be near you again._ I chastised myself. Pathetic, Solo. Keep it together. 

“Actually…” My heart skipped a beat and I leaned forward against the door frame. “I don’t have anything else to wear. That goes for tomorrow’s interview, too.” She was chewing her lower lip between her teeth and the crease between her eyebrows had returned. 

_Stupid alpha, with an oversight like that. Need to be better for your omega._ Not my omega. _Not yet._

I pushed aside the warring dialogue in my head, making a small amount of room to think. “Hmm. Well, for tonight, you could borrow some of my pajamas. Obviously they’ll be huge on you, but they’re just for sleeping. Then for tomorrow…” I looked at what she was wearing: dark grey dress pants that seemed clean other than the dirt, and a short sleeve shirt that was torn. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to take off those clothes, to see and feel her soft skin underneath, to make her come undone with my hands…

I cleared my throat, bringing my focus back to reality. “Your pants we can wash, and for your shirt, um. You can borrow one of my dress shirts. I’m sure we can tuck it in and make it look presentable. I’ll get everything and put it outside the door.”

“Thanks, Ben.” Her shy smile nearly crushed the last of my self control. 

I left to go pick out something for Rey to wear, and I heard the door click shut and the water start to run. I grabbed a clean T-shirt and pajama bottoms with a tie, and picked out a blue dress shirt that I imagined would complement Rey’s eyes. I carefully folded them and went to place them outside the washroom door when I heard Rey.

It started with a soft moan that was barely audible over the stream of the shower. It was followed by another shortly after. I put the clothes down. _I should go_ , I thought. 

“Ben,” Rey’s voice, still barely audible. My feet were rooted to the carpet outside the washroom door. Another moan came from within the shower. My willpower was rapidly draining away as if Rey had pulled the plug and the liquid resolve was draining out of my brain and straight into my cock. Another moan came, louder this time, and I couldn’t help but picture her. 

Would she be leaning back against the wall? Water pouring down her chest and into the valley between her thighs? Maybe she would have one foot propped up on the side of the shower, opening herself up. 

Despite the best efforts of the suppressant body wash, Rey’s scent began to pervade every pore in my body. As I breathed, I felt my rational mind slip away, replaced with the singular desire to fill my omega with my knot. I needed to feel her tight core around me like I needed my next breath. 

I fell to my knees, panting and sweating. The moans continued, and I was painfully hard. _“Alpha, please.”_

“Fuck, Rey,” I breathed, unable to stop my hand from wrapping around my cock now. It was all I could do not to barge in, door or lock be damned. I squeezed my hand around my length and began to slide it up and down, visualizing Rey, beautiful, perfect Rey, taking me into her tight wet pussy, my cock disappearing within her. She’d gasp and moan just as she was doing now, and I’d swallow all of her perfect noises in my mouth, wanting to devour her- 

The loudest moan yet interrupted my fantasy, and for a brief moment, I hung on the edge of climax. _“Alpha, yes! Ben!”_

If it hadn’t been for the overwhelming climax that crashed through me that second, I would have clawed my way through the door if that’s what it took to get to my omega.


End file.
